Oh hi, it’s nice to see you again! What’s that you say, I look pretty good? There’s a bit of a spring in my step? I’m…chipper?
Well you see darling, I went away to Calgary for my best friend’s bachelorette party for 4 whole days. All. by. myself. And I gave myself a special little treat, I decided to not feel one tiny little bit of guilt about it. Confession: it was surprisingly easy. Hello old friends, let’s share a hotel room and gab all night. Hello 9:30 am, what a perfectly civilized time to wake up. Hello sticky toffee cake, you’ll make a terrific lunch. Hello new boots, you’re going to look fabulous on the dance floor. Hello Tom Collins, you old devil you.
I’m not going to go on and on about how I deserved this weekend. I know I did. I don’t need to justify it to myself or to anyone. We all deserve a few days to ourselves. Parenting is hard, whether you are at home full-time or have a job outside the home, whether your family lives nearby or not, whether your children are angels or “going through something right now”. I will say though that the week of puke, poop, dehydration and fever leading up to my weekend away made it that much easier to pack my bags.
And surprise, surprise, I’ve come back an entirely different person. I’ve laughed more in the last 3 days than I have in a month. My kids are just so cute. They’re so sweet! And my husband is so funny and handsome. And he just really appreciates me, you know? This week, we’re re-organizing closets and getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner, doesn’t that sound like fun? When my daughter yells at me (she does that sometimes because she’s 3 1/2 and 3 1/2 is a lot like 16), I don’t yell back. I just gently, kindly, zen-ly respond “I’m not yelling at you, please don’t yell at me.” When my son wakes up whining and crabby, I look to Pip and we smile and shrug. He’s just not a morning person.
How can you feel guilty about something that makes you feel this good? That makes you an exponentially better parent??
I wish this for you, harried, tired Mama. I wish you a weekend away at a super fun bachelorette party weekend with old friends you love with all your heart, sure. But really, what I wish for you is that whatever time you manage to carve out for yourself, that you don’t feel one second of guilt or hand-wringing about it. And don’t you dare feel guilty for not feeling guilty. I know your game. Just have a Tom Collins and slip back into your old pre-mama self for one hot minute. Own it!! as a wise Mama friend once urged me. And then bring some of that spark back home with you. It feels really, really good.